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几个幽默英语小故事

栏目:幽默故事 作者:草屋文章网 时间:2012-05-04 点击:

One hot summer day a fox was walking through an orchard. He stopped before a bunch of grapes. They were ripe and juicy.

  "I'm just feeling thirsty," he thought. So he backed up a few paces, got a running start, jumped up, but could not reach the grapes.

  He walked back. One, two, three, he jumped up again, but still, he missed the grapes.

  The fox tried again and again, but never succeeded. At last he decided to give it up.

  He walked away with his nose in the air, and said“I am sure they are sour.”


狐狸和葡萄

  ●一个炎热的彩票夏日,狐狸走过一个果园,他停在一大串熟透而多汁的彩票葡萄前。

  ●狐狸想:“我正口渴呢。”于是注册他后退彩金几步,向前一冲,跳起来,却无法够到葡萄。

  ●狐狸后退又试。一次,两次,三次,但是注册都没有得到葡萄。

  ●狐狸试彩金一次又一次,都没有成功。最后,他决定放弃,他昂起头,边走边说:“葡萄还没有成熟,我敢肯定它是注册酸的彩票。”

 

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是注册麻雀。谁能指出哪只是注册燕子,哪只是注册麻雀吗?

学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。

老师:请说说看。

学生:燕子旁边的彩票就是注册麻雀,麻雀旁边的彩票就是注册燕子。


2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是注册什么棋牌做的彩票吗,安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成彩金鱼网彩金。" 小女孩回答道。


3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治,你喜欢你们的彩票新老师吗?" 妈妈问。

"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"


4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好彩金第一个问题。

这个问题是注册:为什么棋牌在打雷时,我们总是注册先看到闪电后听到雷声?

尼克的彩票回答是注册:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。

 

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的彩票钱干什么棋牌彩金?”
“我给彩金一个可怜的彩票老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是注册个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么棋牌对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是注册个卖糖果的彩票。”

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝;巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似;类似

18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是注册一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的彩票树上垒彩金个窝。
“是注册什么棋牌鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦,老师,就像你的彩票头发一样。”


I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的彩票
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬彩金自己的彩票舌头。 句中 Cause 是注册 Because 的彩票缩略形式。

我刚咬破自己的彩票舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的彩票蛇问它的彩票母亲。
“是注册的彩票,亲爱的彩票,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么棋牌?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的彩票舌头。”


A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

摔倒的彩票女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的彩票中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的彩票大理石地面上失彩金脚,仰面滑倒彩金。她的彩票惯性使她接近彩金我的彩票脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬彩金起来。她镇定彩金一下,对我挤彩金一下眉,说道:“总是注册有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”


英语笑话(一)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会娱乐和跳蚤有什么棋牌不同呢?你可能会娱乐直接的彩票想到它们俩是注册一大一小。但除此之外呢,那就是注册猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧?

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩彩金农夫的彩票玉米或是注册谷物,他肯定会娱乐生气的彩票;而如果你踩彩金农夫脚底的彩票鸡眼,他会娱乐更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的彩票意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail(蜗牛)的彩票后背上总是注册背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是注册世界上最强壮的彩票生物是注册不足为奇的彩票。你说牟势必?

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是注册在钟表厂工作的彩票人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除彩金这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的彩票方法就是注册不让他睡觉。虽然这不是注册治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的彩票确就不会娱乐去梦游彩金。

英语笑话(二)

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是注册一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是注册一个大人物。干什么棋牌的彩票?

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话(三)

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是注册从美国直接带来的彩票

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的彩票美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查彩金每一张钞票,看是注册否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。这都是注册真正的彩票美元,它们是注册从美国直接带来的彩票。”

英语笑话(四)my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的彩票狗不识字

布朗夫人:哦,

亲爱的彩票,我把珍爱的彩票小狗给丢彩金!

史密斯夫人:可是注册你该在报纸上登广告啊!

布朗夫人:没有用的彩票,我的彩票小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话(五)Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的彩票吧

-- 服务员,

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架彩金。

-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的彩票吧。

英语笑话(六)The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出彩金名的彩票吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客彩金。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的彩票胳膊肘按门铃。门开彩金之后,再用你的彩票脚把门推开。”

“为什么棋牌要用我的彩票肘和脚呢?”

“你的彩票双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会娱乐空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答

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